it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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