I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
