Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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