i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you made out with another girl for some wings
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
