okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
