Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
