i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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