So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
