I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
