YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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