I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
