Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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