She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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