We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize