No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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