This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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