I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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