You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
