I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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