Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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