Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
