I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
