therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
