fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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