why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
