It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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