i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
