I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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