Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We just shotgunned beers for America
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize