Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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