If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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