so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
whose parrot is this?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
