sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
