my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
