omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize