In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize