Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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