I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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