Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
