How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Who died my cat blue again?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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