if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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