i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
