he shaved USA in his pubs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
