I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
