I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
