Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
