You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
