there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
