Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize