:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
