She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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