I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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