If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Its about making memories worth repressing
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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