do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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