discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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