I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
