every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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