So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
