they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize