seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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