1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
