she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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