We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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