What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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