Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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