Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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