I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize