so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
