direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
